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Saying YES While Setting Boundaries

Saying YES While Setting Boundaries
Adapted from the works of
Susan Jeffers, Ph.D.

”Say YES to the Universe” was one of Susan’s most cherished affirmations. By saying YES, we open ourselves up to all the blessings the Universe has to bestow on us, but that can sometimes be a struggle when we still have our day-to-day stresses to deal with. In End the Struggle and Dance With Life, Susan noted, ”We need balance in our everyday world. This balance is often difficult to achieve in the middle of the multitude of things happening around us…children crying, traffic roaring, televisions blaring, bosses yelling, work piling up.” Everyone experiences the pressures of life.

When Susan wrote about opening our hearts to receive all the wonderfulness the world can offer, she never meant that we should open ourselves up to everything – positive and negative alike. Part of being open to blessings means closing ourselves to negativity. Being open to the Universe also means finding the balance between our duties and obligations and discovering the path that leads us to connect with our Higher Selves.

Learning to say YES to the Universe is also learning how to say NO when necessary. So many of us feel guilty saying NO to our family, friends, coworkers, and bosses. We feel like we need to be there for everyone all the time. Yet setting boundaries is an important part of saying YES. Setting boundaries is about how much you will do for another person, how far you will go. And it’s an important way to get past our own insecurities and fears. As Susan said:

”Say YES to saying NO! Initially, saying NO to tasks brought before us can bring on great anxiety. That’s OK! Feel the fear and say NO anyway! Very quickly, you will realize that our motivation for doing most of the tasks brought before us has less to do with the tasks than it has to do with making ourselves feel more important or more secure or more wanted.”

Creating healthy boundaries is not closing yourself to universal blessings… it’s giving yourself room to really feel them. If you’re being held back by a negative or needy person in your life, you are not being open to the Universe. If you believe your obligations leave you little space, then you aren’t ready to receive all the blessings in store for you. We all need to carve out time for ourselves, time to breath, time to think and listen, time to feel, and time to just BE. Even if it’s just a 15-minute walk around the neighborhood every day or five minutes at work with your eyes shut repeating affirmations to yourself, we must take the time in order to get in touch with our Higher Selves.

When we tune into our Higher Self we can find the blessing. Find the lesson to be learned. Find the strength we never thought we had. Find the triumph in our lives.

Yet learning to say NO while saying YES to the Universe is a challenge in and of itself. Finding that balance, finding that center part of yourself is no easy task. But, of course, nothing worthwhile ever is.

Susan wrote, ”Ask yourself, ‘How can I begin creating more balance and trust in my life? How can I fill the emptiness I feel when I am quiet?’ Then… listen to yourself. Assess, identify, understand and accept your own needs. Once you do that, you begin answering these important questions with all the masks stripped away, and you can then use the many Spiritual tools available to you to heal any of the hurts or fears that may have been controlling you.” This is how we create balance in our lives.

When we look inward, we are expanding our connection to the world. When we examine the reasons we feel the way we do, when we try to understand our fears and insecurities, we are stepping beyond those things that hold us down, where the Lower Self rules. When we say YES to saying NO, we are creating healthy boundaries and connecting with ourselves. And when we connect with our Higher Self, we tell ourselves and say to the Universe YES! YES! YES!

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